How to Train Your . . .

Today's blog post brought to you by blind assertions. Why not? Everyone else is doing it. [blind assertion]

Okay, so my wife and I are planning a time to go see a movie. First time to a theater since the baby was born. A little bit of a big deal. As she was scrolling through the local showings, she came across film after film we will NOT see. "She's Out Of My League" Nope. Sounds like a movie predicated on cheap sex jokes about a hot girl a dude really wants. I've lived that description, including the occasional season of life featuring the indiscreet sex joke. Yeah, there was a season change ten days ago, so? "Hot Tub Time Machine" [chirp chirp chirp]

The first movie she noted (and the one we will likely see) was "How to Train Your Dragon." She asked what it was about. I've only seen trailers for it about three times when I wasn't really paying attention (I was breathing through a paper bag during a TV timeout), which uniquely qualifies me to summarize a movie for a picky potential viewer and decide the fate of twelve bucks (um, yeah, we're going to a matinee) relative to a movie studio bean counter.

My summary started thus: "I think it's about a somewhat medieval culture where most of the people are averagely stupid and they are plagued by dragons, so everyone lives in fear, and there are some tough guys who make a name for themselves by fighting off the dragons, and then some smart kids come along and say . . ." With each passing clause I became more and more afflicted with present-time-narrative-telling-déjà vu. It actually caused me to ask whether the screen writers were presenting a blatantly moralistic tale about what we should do with terrorists.

This movie looks entertaining. I'm excited to see it, if only because we get to go to a movie. Well, actually, now I'm curious to see if my blind assertion that this movie should be titled "How to Train Your Terrorist" (only if you're an American, not Osama bin Laden, silly) can be upgraded to "assertion with slightly advanced glaucoma." Please share your non-spoiler insights if you've seen the movie.